Is Fear Of Success Holding You Back?

Many of us inadvertently sabotage our own success because we are scared of what will be different if we actually succeed.
Everyone fails from time to time. For many, fear of failure is paralyzing and holds us back from trying something new, taking a risk, or taking a step toward our goals.
Overcoming that fear of failure, not letting it stand in your way, has fueled an entire industry of motivational speakers and writers. At some time or another, weโve all probably sat through some sort of corporate workshop or watched a motivational presentation on TV or the internet about overcoming our fear of failure.
๐๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐๐?
Success means change (even if itโs the change you always wanted). If you try something and fail, you go back to what you knew. You may not be happy about it, but you go back to your comfort zone.
If you try something and succeed, you head into uncharted territory. Things are different. Things change.
We often hear about athletes, musicians, or actors who are catapulted from relative obscurity to the big time. Although that kind of success may have been their dream and aspiration, many say that they just werenโt ready for that level of success.
Many talk about not being ready for the financial and social pressures, the lack of privacy, and the lifestyle changes from when no one knew them compared with now being household names.
Public limelight aside, many of us experience the same kinds of fears about being prepared for what success is going to mean for us.
Iโll explain further by using my own storyโฆ
When I left Merrill Lynch to start my own investment firm at the age of 27, my manager told me when I resigned that Iโd never be as successful outside of Merrill as I would be if I stayed. I remember walking out of his office wondering if I just made the biggest mistake of my life. There is no doubt that from that moment forward, I was propelled by a fear of failure. I didnโt want my boss at Merrill Lynch to be proven right so I worked my ass off to achieve success.
What I wasnโt prepared for, however, was the overwhelming sense of insecurity Iโd feel when success became a reality. I had never really considered what added self-induced obstacles my success would bring. Everything became different, and I didnโt really identify all the ways things would be different right away. It was uncharted territory with limited visibility. Kinda like running through a corn field with no ability to see whatโs coming.
Would I become a different person as a result of being a successful entrepreneur? Would I like the person I became? Would there be more pressure? Was I really good enough to sustain the success?
It turns out that my concerns werenโt symptoms of my own neuroses but are actually common perceptions.
Success also often means having a bigger impact on more people. It could be a bigger role where more people depend on you. It could be that more people care what you do and say, and that your opinions are further reaching.
It sounds great, but bigger impact can also actually make you feel vulnerable because you are now more in the spotlight to more people. It can be easy to be scared off by that and feel ill equipped to handle the scrutiny, the judgment and everything else that comes with that broader exposure.
When it comes to losing weight or making healthy lifestyle changes, maybe we fear how our relationship with our spouse may change if weโre successful at making big changes. Or maybe weโre afraid we wonโt be able to sustain the positive life changes and our fear of letting people down consumes us to the point we cave in and give up.
It often prompts questions about whether you can live up to peopleโs new expectations of you or if you even want to have to deal with those heightened expectations in the first place.
๐ช๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ณ๐๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ-๐๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐ ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ป ๐ธ๐ป๐ผ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ถ๐.
Often, if you give it everything you have and still fail, you get pats on the back and respect for having put it all out there. Itโs the โyou left it all out there on the fieldโ concept.
What if you convinced yourself that you were putting it all out there and were giving it everything you had even though you knew deep down that you werenโt? Youโd still get the pats on the back and could walk away from it knowing โit just wasnโt meant to be.โ Then you could go back to what you knew. You basically set yourself up for failure and subconsciously fell back into your comfort zone.
We set deadlines, create to-do lists, write down our health plan, get a gym membership and tell people about our incredible plans to make lifestyle changes. Nothing else is in the way of getting us to where we want to go, except self-sabotage โ the pesky excuses why we didnโt get something done, telling ourselves mediocre is good enough or believing that huge goal we set is just too big.
The real challenge is that we donโt even realize we are doing it.
๐ฆ๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ ๐ถ๐?
There isnโt a magic solution, but simply knowing that you could be sabotaging yourself is half the battle. The next time you are confronted with a new thing and conquer your fear of failure, make sure you also give some thought to your fear of success too, so you can really move all of the barriers out of the way.
After all, thereโs nothing worse than getting to the top of the mountain only to fall off because you never considered what youโd do when you finally got there.
๐ฉ๐๐ฆ๐จ๐๐๐๐ญ๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐จ๐๐๐๐ฆ๐ฆ!
๐๐ข๐ช ๐ช๐๐๐ ๐๐ง ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐๐๐๐?
๐ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฅ๐ง๐๐ก๐ง๐๐ฌโ ๐๐ข๐ช ๐ช๐๐๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฆ๐ง๐๐๐ก ๐๐ง?
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